my complicated life

• we don't have the same plans / priorities.
• he just don't see what is important to me and what would make me happy. kahit na anong gawin kong explain or mention what is important to me, nde naman niya iniintindi. ni nde nga binigyang pansin eh. =(
• nde kami ng baby ko ang first priority nya. siguro, if i had to list down yung mga taong important sa kanya, ni wala kami sa top 10 and the sad part is, he is not making an effort to make us feel otherwise.

aside from his medical check-up, his reason for going home was to unwind. according to him he is just so stressed here in the UAE. stressed in all aspects, job, surrounding, etc. perhaps even with me. imagine that... pag uwi nya from office, he doesn't even have to cook. i can claim that i am taking care of him as what a wife should supposed to do. despite of which, stressed pa rin siya!!! yung iba ngang OFW, they have to cook, wash clothes, etc. pagkagaling sa work. pero siya, no need na and yet stressed pa rin! gusto ko na ngang sabihing, he might as well stay in the philippines and not to come back anymore. hmp. sabi nya magkaiba daw kasi kami, mataas daw kasi stress level tolerance ko. i was the one who even has to make all the plans and who thinks of my baby's yaya eh. ni hindi ko nga pinapa-problema sa kanya yun or financially needs his support! =( ewan ko, i just don't see any justification sa kino-complain nya.

with that, i decided na lang to go home this july and give my baby a baptism without him or his family. what for pa? nde nga kami important sa kanya eh, what more sa family nya. tama nga ako. there's no point planning for a future with him. tatanda ako nang maaga kung palaging ganito. when baby finally comes into this world, i will just be a mommy but won't be a wife anymore.