my complicated life

i was able to attend the 5th day of the Misyong Pilipino last night. it was... hmm... i dunno how to describe it. whatever the word is...it made me feel good to unload my heavy heart. good thing, they purposely turned off all the lights. the whole area was just lit up by the candles on the altar. fr. arlo asked the whole congregation to talk to Jesus. to ask him for forgiveness, to seek healing (physical, spiritual, emotional) and to give thanks.

i cried a river. i suddenly missed home and as usual, i missed my tatay. after the mass, i feel the urge to go home to the philippines. ewan ko ba. i need to breathe fresh air yata. =(

i asked for forgiveness for doing things against His will and yet, He still treats me as a friend. forgiveness for hurting the ones that i love and for not doing the things that I am supposed to do. i asked for healing.. physical, spiritual and emotional... i really needed it now. i feel battered, tired and hopeless. most of all, i utter words of thanks for the countless blessings that i am continuously been receiving. marami-rami rin pala.

last night, i promised myself that i would try to be a better person. ang hirap. hahaha. i tried to withhold myself from doing things that i want versus what is right. i didn't succeeded. however, i ended up being hurt doubly than before. ang tigas kasi ng ulo. pinagpipilitan pa kasi.

today, i realized how foolish i am.