Tuesday, October 05, 2010

My Mission

Posted by myleen at 2:06 PM

i had a colorful month. overjoyed. overwhelmed. over-stressed. over-booked.
my schedule has been fully-booked... weekdays or weekends, nighttime or daytime. it is tiring. physically and emotionally draining. almost run into a public bus one morning coz of a blank mind. yeah, with all the things i had to think of, i chose to think of nothing. and with all the things i need to do (help friends with their party preparation, make personal errands, go to the doctor , be a good mother, etc.), i ended up finishing nothing.  i am burdened, i am uninspired, i am miserable.

decided to pause for awhile.

i have been attending a week-long retreat in St. Joseph Church, entitled Misyong Pilipino. each night, parishioners were asked to take one bible verse to bring home to. last night, i got this:
Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
i am so thankful i got this... i needed it today and i think, for the coming days.
with each realization on this retreat...i found myself crying. sigh... it is sooo difficult. i wanted to take some choices but i can't. i wanted to follow my heart but it leads nowhere. i wanted to disappear but i can't leave someone behind.

my mission: make myself happy. find my purpose --- i just don't know what i must do. i am leaving it to Him now.

i'm back online. it only means one thing.... i'm alone again... naturally.

 

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