my complicated life

a long time ago, i was one of those who claimed the ever famous phrase, "alone but not lonely". this time it's different... i am not alone but i feel so lonely. how ironic!!! yeah, yeah, so i like the I'm So Lonely rendition of Alvin and the Chipmunks but who says i want to sing it???!!!


i feel so lonely because for the first time in my life, those whom i used to confide my innermost feelings and who are genuinely listening has moved on with their lives. my mom, some very close friends...


i feel so lonely because the person whom i expect to be sincerely concern just wouldn't want to listen. couldn't even stand to listen.


i feel so lonely because i am now inactive in doing the things that used to be my outlet for venting out.


sigh. life. i guess, i am best left alone with all my hurts and grudges or else the whole world becomes as dim as my world. right now, i am just a floating person trying to be present in the real world, struggling to remain in the surface yet slowly drowning. my responsibilities are creeping to my consciousness. telling me to stay. so i am physically staying, though my mind is somewhere else and my heart longs for a home.