my complicated life

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on


I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind


All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh


I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere


I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night


I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions


All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh


There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation


All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

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this is the OST of the movie Music and Lyrics which featured my favorite actress, Drew Barrymore. nope, i don't relate to either the song or the movie. i just posted this song because i like the tempo. as for finding the way back into love.... i'm not actually expecting such miracle to happen.

my application for a december vacation was denied. =( i feel bad about it since i've been hoping for a yuletide holiday in the philippines. a mid-july to mid-august vacation was approved though. oh well, i might as well go and take a break after all my hard work, be it personal or professional. i really think i deserve one. =)

in between today and before leaving abu dhabi, i really should finallize the things (the legal requirements for my new quest, hehe) i should attend to in the philippines. while in the philiipines and in between the christening of baby Lance, i also should roam around the island and enjoy my stay. how's that for a plan?

among other problems i have right now, i feel so depressed upon knowing i have a whooping 1,500 AED dirhams telephone/internet bill!!!! hay, para akong nanganak ng 2 beses. =( i had lots of expenses these past two months but of all things that got my attention were those wasted on unimportant things such as phone bills and unused visas. nakakapanlumo and nakakapanhinayang when i could have invested these money to business with lea sana, instead of going down the drain. hay. anyway, what to do yani???!! damage has been done and i had to literally pay for it.