Sunday, November 28, 2010

drained... stressed.... needs some kick

0 comments Posted by myleen at 10:01 PM

i am having some stressful days since last week. when i was asked why, i came out with 5 reasons:

point #1...im just depress.. 

i had a lot of expectations that weren't met. yeah, i'm trying my best not to expect but i couldn't help it. sina-psycho ko na lang sarili ko which could be the reason why i am in such depression. ang lungkot-lungkot ko. hays, siguro dala na rin na magpa-Pasko and i don't have what i really, really want... yes, i have lance pero ewan ko ba, kulang pa rin... =( 

point #2...maybe, just maybe.. kulang ako sa pahinga, masakit leeg ko... wala akong gana...

since i came back from Turkey, i suffered from a terrible stiffed neck, headache, body ache.. all at the same time. sobra sa gala? hehe. i really need another vacation... a longer one.. sana sa Europe. ;)

point #3... naiinis ako kasi hindi ko ma-prove yung sarili ko and my promises...

nakakainis lang, bakit ako pa ang kailangang mag-prove?? anyway, no point in discussing this anymore. i can prove it naman at the right time, it's just that i want to be 100% sure, without hesitations that i will have something worth fighting for. with the ways things are turning out.. parang nde naman. i know what i want now and that is, peace of mind. therefore, he needs to prove himself as well. nde pa nga siya bayad sa past actions nya tapos ako sisingilin nya ngayon. unfair naman. =(

point #4... im stressed at home, at work, at everything...

i am way below my self-expectation in my work, in my goals, in my life. i wanted to act and make up for it but being a mother is getting in the way. ang hirap. i know that i am way below standards as well when motherhood is concern. =( i suck in time management... =(

point #5.. just trying to return back the way i am treated...

kulang ako pansin and i admit it. if i am not missed, i try also not to miss the person/s concern. ganun lang yun. it's just draining the wits out of me since i am missing these people. hehe. pero okay lang... things do pass... i need to do something about this before i go out of my mind and lose myself.

hopefully, i could gain the same energy i once had. i am trying really hard.... i mingled with new folks last weekend, returned to my kitchen, did not speak to some people that much... it helped a little but not quite. i have a hammam scheduled on wednesday and some boat trip over the weekend (?). i hope these will  help in the healing process... ang tanong, kaya ko ba? hehe.

 

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Turkey - Day 1

0 comments Posted by myleen at 11:12 PM

am taking a trip by myself... that is, without lance. in a way, i am excited about it because it will give me a chance to take my mind off things. however, i am that too happy when the people i am supposed to be with weren't complete. kat and berna were not able to make it. =( berna encountered a visa problem while kat is in amidst of a family problem. only me, eys and jerrold was able to board our 11AM flight that turned out to be 12:30 AM.

we boarded via the Saga Airlines, a chartered plane. it wasn't too bad. the food was edible. they served us pasta with white sauce. the plane was a bit warm but the temperature improved when it got settled on air. it took us 4 1/2 hours to reach Istanbul. we were fetched by the Fly Express representatives who was friendly and helpful as she can be.

Istanbul was around 17 deg C at that time. we got stuck on a traffic on our way to our hotel in Taksim area. grabe, i lost track of time sa sobrang tagal! sobrang gutom, sobrang pagod. it was drizzling at the same time. Istanbul as a city is a bit crowded. parang Manila lang with all those penthouses with chimneys. =)

we reached the hotel after 10 years, i guess. hahaha. anyway, we were not disappointed as opposed to the online reviews on Golden Age Hotel. it was not that golden but it was not that bad, as well. okay lang, we get what we paid for. clean enough. the beds were done nicely but there was no coffee or tea-making utensils inside the room and no welcome fruits or wine (hihi. ambisyosa!), too.  the good plus were hot water, a hair dryer and a TV are all available. hmm.. it wasn't 4-stars in my standards but it wasn't 2-stars either. i will give it 3-stars. oh, there was no A/C nga pala, but a heater for the room is available. good thing, it's winter so we just open the windows to let the cool air in.

we rested for around 30 minutes, did some unpacking and of we go and explored the nearby establishments. we had our first taste of Turkish cuisine in a small restaurant.

----- to be continued ----

 

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